"Dear Graham and Maria, ... / Yes. / "... we've just completed renovating our house and put down a lovely new oak floor. Now we are having some friends round for a party. They're sure to all be wearing glamorous shoes with pointy heels. So, we are panicing about the moment a good tune comes on and they all want to start dancing... " we should be so lucky, " (if that happens, you should be lucky) ... How can we ask them to take care of the floor without killing the mood and ruining their outfits? Would it ... would it be too much to provide slippers? We've bought some funky ones especially. Thank you." and that's from Elise. Sorry to laugh at your funky slippers, Elise, but that is funny. Um, here's the thing, why didn't you have the party before you put the floor down, Elise? / Or, here's the thing: It's the floor. It's designed for walking on. / Yeah, but you know what pointy shoes do on those lovely ... / Yeah. They leave holes in it. It's the floor. / All right. / I'll ... / honestly, a house where they ask me to take my shoes off drives me insane. / I know. I can tell. I can tell because your / your flostrils (flar + nostrils) and __ ... your nostrils are flaring with fury. / I'm dripping. / You are. Here's another thing, Elise. Why not, instead of getting funky slippers, which is a ridiculous idea, frankly, unless you are having a funky slipper party, And you are not, just go to one of those kind of, sort of higher places and get some old carpet, and put it in the dancy area. / you see / but Elise wants everyone to see how beautiful her new home is. / you can't have it both ways, Elise, can you? / I mean, look, the floor is meant to be walked on. That's what it's for. Look, we all like nice things. We do. But equally, you've got to ... it's your house. You've got to live there. I remember, once, uh, I, I had one sofa that the dogs weren't allowed on, it was a dog-free sofa. / Yeah. / And, there, my mom was ill, she's got very very ill, my sister had to fly over, and / I remember / we thought it was going to be curtains (dying), bye bye, mom. And, when we came home, and, uh, it was such an emotional, awful day, we sat on the sofa, I think with glass of wine, and dogs climbed up on the sofa, / my sister going, "Are the dogs supposed to be on the sofa?" and I just thought, "What am I worrying about a sofa for? What in / great / great scheme of things (the whole of life , forget about trivial things) / dog hairs on it, who cares? Your faux (pronounced as "fo") oak floor has bits and scuffs on it. The important thing is, you've lots of friends round and lots of people in your house and you like living in your house and you like sharing the hourse with friends. Don't worry about the floor. / Yeah. / I think, don't sweat the small stuff (book title), Elise / I know it cost you a lot of money, But it would still look nice. It will just have some scuff marks on it. / Yeah. And I ... I absolutely agree with Graham's passion on all of this. And, you know, it really isn't greatly important, but, I think, if you really care about it, then just go and hire some old carpet.
Richard Lambert on Facebook, says "Give them the slippers. Make a joke out of it. If everyone does it, then there shouldn't be a problem. If they are really you friends, they should understand, respect your wishes. Jane Stephen: "Have a slipper party with the prize for the best slippers." Oh, that just sounds so awful. Huh ... I've, I ... I don't know. ... James Leed : Stop __ wuss. If you didn't want your floor to damage, why / go for an expensive one?" Thank you, James. I'm with you / a marvelous idea." / Oh, __ off with your slippers. "I certainly would be offended if my friend asked me to wear them." I wouldn't be offended, but I'd just think, "Why are you living ... why / world where you have to wear slippers? ... Emily __ __ "__ protect / way to go." / those / things they put on furniture, you know, I ... I / be s__ the door but __ everyone's shoes. So, just a moment, just putting this on, little / on. Lovely. Turn a little bit of carpet tile ... uh, ... J__ J__ has emailed in. "Just be straight / ask them to take the shoes off. ... Alec __ __ __. __ take a moment to appreciate his advice: "If you have something very precious and expensive, and you want to keep it nice, for goodness sake, don't put it on the floor, you __ __. Floors are to be walked on. Let your guests do __ __." Oh, I love you, D__. Well done. Thank you for emailing in. Lee in / walk / protect your new floor forever. Yes, a brand-new floor looks beautiful, but, to me, it doesn't have character. It's the dents and scratches that create the character, and how would you enjoy your floor if you are always worried about damaging it? You / remove the shoes, that is your choice. But, as you know, there will be some people who are turned off by this. Offer the slippers, but don't force them on people." Thank you, __. "If they are real friends, they'll understand. Put your funky slippers on. Easy." K__ L__. I wouldn't have thought a floor should be the test of a friendship. I know, really, "I'm locked out", "I've been flooded", "I need a lift somewhere" ... these are the test of friendship, not a floor. Uh ... "You need to decide whether you've got yourself a show home or a home." That's it. That's some __ __ from __. And, uh, finally, Christine G__ says "Get the oak floor people to hire a dance floor. Get one of those high-tech ones with the lights that flash." That's a good idea. What I love is, when you __ move it, you'll __ scratch your oak floor really badly, ha ha.
(Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/grahamnorton grahamnorton_20130119-1550a.mp3 28:34-33:52)